Only a few days ago, I found myself deeply longing- soul wrenching longing for my mother. This kind of longing, is in fact unusual. Of course there are times I miss my mom, times when I miss her very much (right after giving birth, for example) but never have I felt this way, since becoming an adult.
We live in seperate continents, nevermind countries. I see her once a year, so far, which to most expats -that is good! She said goodbye to me and my family a few days ago (this post has been published late), and my heart sunk. Within, I curled up into a fetal position, holding onto her scent, her "being" and cried myself to sleep. But in reality, I kept on going, picking up after my kids, prepping for bedtime and for "tomorrow's lunch" etc. I swallowed my tears, until I couldn't anymore, and I gave my self a minute or two to straighten up and continued with my tasks. But, all I wanted to do, is push aside the responsibility, the load and become that daughter I once was. The daughter, I was once cared for, at home, by a mother.
I am a mother now.
Sometimes it's hard to shake off the "person you once were -reputation" and behave a certain way, from habit, with family, the way you used to. It's almost like, during family gatherings and visits, you subconciously taking the role you once unfortunately mastered in your family when you were a kid and growing up. I was a "hot head", in some ways I still am. But by God's grace and His strength and guidance, I no longer carry that sign above my head. A lady at church put it very wisely, "I used to live in my sin and acknowledge His Grace, but now I lvie in His Grace and acknowledge my sin".
How can the people within a family be so different, yet so alike? Doncha just hate it, when sometimes you open your mouth and your mother comes out!? SMILE! That WAS a joke, but so true isn't it?
Time flies, we get older, everyone around us grows older too. We do our things, get families, careers, attend and serve at church, surrender to and follow Christ. Yet, inside me, there is a little girl who misses the times she got rides from her dad on his bicycle to preschool, riding the bus with her mom on our way to the movies, and playing with her brothers in the sandbox, and the endless days and endless summer holidays that felt like forever. Now, time flies, I can barely grasp it. I just can't grasp it.
I have to believe that what God has in store for us, in Heaven, IS worth it all. Worth growing old, worth saying goodbyes, worth the diseases we fight, worth the tears we shed, worth everything we bare.. Heaven is and will be worth it all. This is a promise, I have to hold on to dear life.
My children, OUR children, are first God's before they were ever given to us. His love for them, is far greater than ours, multiplied, could ever be. His plans for them are perfect, regardless of how we feel about them (plans). Our parents are His children too. His plans for them, are perfect as well.
Faith comes by hearing, and hearing comes by reading. When trials and tribulations come, not IF, but WHEN they do...we need to be rooted fast in His Word, so that we may stand strong and carry the peace that surpasses ALL understanding.
I feel so blessed. Who would've known that the tree in our garden would produce so much fruit! Lip lickin', nectar drippin', super delicious figs! Didn't Jesus eat figs and dates? :)
Anyway, I feel so abundantly blessed. So I noticed we had some droopy looking figs on our branches, so after google'ing about them, I wasted no more time and picked as many as I could reach. My husband climbed the tree like a pro and picked the rest. The figs were oozing nectar and so sweet!
I am quite apprehensive about making jam (making it unhealthy) out of any vitamin and antioxidant rich fruits and berries, so I chose to dehydrate and freeze them. I even made fruit leather! If my mom was here, I would ask her to make me a small batch of jam to go with my cheese addiction!
and by dehydrating them, I save room... tadaa! Flat as a pancake.
When needed, I'll soak them for about 15minutes before using them in my Super Bar recipe. Which I'll post soon.
Here is a fantastic recipe for you guys to try out! You won't want to miss this opportunity to taste heaven!!
FIG-Banana Ice cream.
((You don't need an ice cream machine to make this!))
If you don't have access to figs, then double the amount of bananas, it's just as good!
- 1 tin/can of coconut cream/milk, chilled prior (6h in fridge)
- 2 frozen bananas (peel and chop before freezing them)
- 2-4 frozen figs (dice them into fours before freezing them)
- dash of salt
In a blender, blend all, but honey, into a smooth ice cream like texture and (place into the fridge for 15minutes if it is too runny) drizzle with honey. Oh heavenly YUMMYness!
Check out my recipes HERE!
Don't forget - enter to win a FREE BOOK, HERE!
Tell me, how do you like your figs?
It has been quite the month! It's still quite the month. I find myself in a crazy state and I can't quite put my finger on it. I found myself swallowing back tears today, while sitting in a massage chair, studying lesson 19, in my Mandarin Chinese course. Maybe it is all rolled into one:
My mum's visiting. What is about mother-daughter relationships!? Why are they so bizarre?? Time flies, I wish we lived a bit closer. I wish I had more time with her. One day.
The school year has started and I am homeschooling my kids, grade 2 and preschool with a toddler running around my feet. This will be a challenge, but a challenge I am ready to take. It feels a bit overwhelming, but not hopeless. I am hopeful.
I'm missing my friends. Longing for bosom friend(s).
My weight has gone down, but I haven't hit the gym in a month and my eating has not gone to plan due to a tonsillectomy, which I still have not fully recovered from. Depressing.
I was 205 lbs
I am 173 lbs
and 28 lbs to go! Yay!
Excuse the tired eyes.
More on my weight loss here!
CONGRATULATIONS TO MARLIA OIKARI, MITCHAM UNITED KINGDOM!!!! YOU'LL RECEIVE THIS BOOK IN THE POST VERY SOON!
I thought I would spice things up a bit, and create a chance for you to win an amazing book. It's an easy read, well put and motivating book which you'll enjoy.
Here is your chance to win, your very own "God's guide to FOOD, FITNESS and FAITH -for women!!
by simply listing your three things
- your favourite form of physical activity
- your favourite (healthy) recipe
- your favourite relaxation method
and then emailing it to me at cathyrosepilates (at) gmail.com
Every person that sends through this email, will receive a ballot to win the book. The draw will be made on August 29th, 2013 and, the winner will notified by returned email. Please indicate in your email, if you do not wish to be announced as the winner on the blog.